May 25th, 2008 | 
Author: I almost texted SOB tonight. To tell him how I hate his guts and how I continue to loathe him more and more every day he doesn’t call or acknowledge the fact that he has a son. I don’t even know that the number I have in my phone is the correct number, but it would have meant something to me if he had received it. It’s the little things that can make a person feel better.
Today wasn’t even a bad day. It just gets stressful when I have a child that is whiny and crabby and going through a major case of the terrible two. It gets even more stressful when I know the only time I will get a break of caring for him is when he goes to bed. So when my dad yells “No one asked you to have a baby” AFTER Skyler has thrown a major temper tantrum, I almost lose it. I understand how big of a mistake I have made. I realize how many people’s lives I have screwed up. I guess the fact that I am trying to fix those mistakes counts for nothing. My night ends with mom telling me that I’m a bitch. She wanted to give Skyler a goodnight kiss. She does and then she gets him riled up when I’m trying to get him ready for bed. So of course I lose it again.
I want one day to feel like I have my life on track. And how come the night I need someone the most, I have nobody.
Posted in 2 Responses to “down & out”
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Oh, f* that. I can think of not one single person’s life that is ruined by Sky’s existence. He is a blessing from heaven, no matter how he got here. I wish I hadn’t accidentally left my cell phone at home all weekend. You should have called me.
Yeah. Fuck that, dude. Sky isn’t a mistake. Your dad had kids, and no one asked HIM to to have kids either. And he doesn’t exactly sound like he knows what he’s doing, whereas YOU are a great parent. Men are such dildos sometimes. Don’t worry, you’ll get outa there someday.