what I need…
It’s no secret that I have always been a loner. Never one to have tons of friends, just the close couple of friends. Or I spent time by myself. Lately, I’ve been trying to keep it a secret how much this has been bothering me.
I keep thinking how much I wish I had someone that would offeremotional support when I am at my lowest. When I’m in tears because he has had a huge hour long temper tantrum just because of the simple fact that he is tired. I want someone to be there and tell me that it’s going to be ok. Someone to just be there and offer their comfort when things are at their lowest. I don’t have that. Instead I try to comfort myself. And it’s really fucking hard to tell myself to look up, things will get better, when I have lost all faith in that.
Merry (belated) Christmas!
Christmas has come and gone and I’m happy to report that I have survived the holidays. I can’t wait to be able to just relax now.
I got some wonderful yarn, knitting book, new yarn rolling case and some fabulous needles. Perfectly complements my new fun hobby :)
Skyler got tons of presents. Backyardigan beanies (Thanks to the cutest curly hair Miss Santa I have ever met. And her wonderful Mommy ;), wonderpets action figures, Diego play toys, child digital camera, cassette player with a Backyardigans music CD and cassette, several books, clothes, 2 Mr. Potatohead toys. (One original, One spiderman and extra pirate accessories) and a fun Vtech Vsmile game system with not only the Diego Cartridge, but the Backyardigans cartridge too.
I think we had a great Christmas.
rockin’ the weight loss
We all know how hard it is to lose weight. We all know how hard it is to maintain your weight around the holidays. I have successfully managed to not only lose 15lbs this holiday season but keep it off and continue to knock the weight off.
I started at 175.5. Being that I’m 5”5, this is not a bad weight but it definitely has made feel extremely self-concious about myself. So for the past 5 weeks I’ve been making a strong effort to watch what I eat and drink. I’m still downing the sodas but I throw in a water during the day to make me feel better. I have cut the junk food intake down and when I do eat it, strictly in moderation. I have also been eating smaller portion size. And more importantly, more fruits and veggies. And these change in habits have brought my weight to a healthier 159.5. My pants and shirts are looser and I feel like I’m gaining a lot of confidence. It is a great feeling. Now let’s just see if I can lose 30-ish more lbs. Then I will be really happy.
’twas the week before Christmas.
It’s almost Christmas time. And because Skyler loves the Backyardigans, I made him a CD and a cassette so he can listen to the music. Maybe then we can keep the TV turned off more
because all I do is update the blog sporatically.
Christmas is only 7 days away. Freaking craziness. I’m not quite finished with Christmas shopping but will finish up this weekend. Sad to say I am ready for the holiday season to be over with so everything can calm down.
Work is the same. Some things bad, some things good. I find myself getting less stressed which is definitely a plus.
I snuggled with Skyler last night after hearing about an online friend’s son. My heart is still aching but it shows me how thankful I need to be to have such a healthy little boy. Please everyone, keep on praying. I’m a person who knows very little about religion and I am no where near being close to religious, but it’s times like these I question faith and pray for the answers.
Speaking of Skyler. He is doing great. Still trying (badly) with the potty training. I can’t even believe how big he is getting. Everyday I am shocked by how much of a little person he is becoming. From attempts at holding real conversations to his continous “Skyler do it” independent spirit, he really is growing up.
Unfortunately, I’m just not ready for him to grow up.
I’m praying for you Dante
I’ve blogged about Dante before. The just turned 2 (in September) year old who has been fighting Neuroblastoma for almost a year. 12 days shy of a year to be exact and the NB is putting up too much of a fight. Dante is dying and there is nothing else they can do for him. Just hope and pray that he can enjoy the rest of the holiday season and the family can spend as much time with him as possible before his passing.
Please pray for the Amazing Dante and his incredible family. I know they are hurting beyond belief and they need all the love and care they can receive.
Joey, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You have an amazing little boy who did amazingly well considering what he’s been fighting.
<3
first snowfall of the year.
We got the first snowfall of the year tonight. It started with a mix of snow and rain on the way home from work and continued into a beautiful snowfall by 6pm. Skyler HAD to go outside in the snow even though it was pitch dark outside. He loved every minute of it. I can’t wait to get snow during the day so he can play in it.
it’s the way it always goes
I hate the way I keep the blog post window open for several hours before I finally find the words I’m looking for. It’s only the end of Wednesday but this whole week has been insane.
Monday, Skyler woke up sick so we had to pull a sick day and spend it at home. I enjoy days where I can snuggle with him on the couch and just relax.
Tuesday was spent at work attempting at catching up on the work missed Monday. Can I admit that I failed miserably? Instead spent my time on other tasks that shouldn’t have grabbed my attention. I wanted to clean and organize a room (that so badly needed it) instead of sitting at the computer keying in set schedules while yawning my brain out.
Wednesday went wonderfully at first until poor planning on upper managements part had me stressed out because this ALWAYS happens. I always leave work on Wednesday with my heart hurting. Something has got to give.
The rest of the week will hopefully go by with not too many stresses or hair pullings. I started on a new knitting project the past couple days and I’m still at least a week away from finishing it. It’ll be well worth it when I’m done. I still have pictures to post, but in true slacker form, I’ll post them tomorrow. For this post, a picture from Monday will have to do.
quick update
I miss the 30D and I miss California.
Not much going on right now. Skyler is sick with a fever and *I think* a sore throat. He hasn’t been eating much and has been laying around so it’s time I took him in to the doctor.
We got the tree yesterday morning and it got decorated last night. Only 17 more days till Christmas. This year has gone by so quickly.
I’ve got lots of pictures to post so later on I will post them up. We are off to the doctor now :)
I guess I need to explain to a few readers regarding my latest protected post. The whole situation doesn’t bother me much anymore. I didn’t intend on coming off as being so up and down in the post, I guess it was just a little difficult to really explain how I felt. I honestly left work on an incredible note today. I was going for the fun and chipper mood and I guess I failed. But all is well. I promise, I’m not in any turmoil ;)
An update to the “adopt a family”. My dad sent around an email at his work letting everyone know what we were doing and he got an incredible response from it. He told them that if anybody wanted to help out, he would accept donations from them. No more than a couple dollars each. We really weren’t expecting many people to want to contribute, but we figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. It’s Christmas time, it’s for a good cause, why not? He ended up raising $90 in one day. So that is going on a Wal-Mart Gift Card. There are plans to give them the Christmas ham he gets from work and we are going to put together a food basket that has the staples and then some extra ingredients to make some yummy cookies. Mom and Dad went through their change jars and ended up with $100 to put towards the gifts for the family. For the son, the PSP game he has on his dream list and several clothing items. For the mom, the crock pot she asked for and some bath necessaties.
Knowing how much of a difference we are making in their lives is such an amazing feeling. I want to do this every year. I’m going to do this every year.
tis the season for giving.
I didn’t write a Thanksgiving post like I intended. Listing all that I’m thankful for. I didn’t blog because at the time I was feeling more depressed and moody than thankful. I was thinking of all that I don’t have. Then my mom told me that she is “adopting a family” for Christmas. More specifically, a single mom to a 13 year old boy. That hit me hard. Now all I’m thinking about is how much I do have to be thankful for and what I want to do to help them. Their wish list consisted of the usual needs. Clothes, bookstore gift certificates to help get the books for school, items for around the house and then their “dream item”. His is a PSP game and hers is simply a Walmart Gift Certificate. I know I’m always bah humbug around Christmas time. I blame working retail. This year is going to be different. This year will start a new Christmas tradition of adopting a family. Giving back when so many have helped me so much. I don’t know yet what I’m going to contribute to this amazing family, but I want to make sure that it makes a difference to their christmas. Every year I want to “adopt a family”. I’m lucky enough to not need to use the service myself, but I have used other government services. I don’t know what I would do if they weren’t there available to me. I want to give back and that will continually remind me to be thankful for what I have. It might not be as much as others, but I could be a lot worse off.