Psychotically Sane

Archive for March 11th, 2009

I regret every decision I made since graduating high school. I regret everything I did, and didn’t do. These decisions have turned my life upside down in what I’m starting to feel is the worst possible way. The decisions have led me to have a job I absolutely hate, to having a child I can’t fully support on my own, to having to fake my fucking happiness every single day. I am not pms’ing. I am on the verge of a fucking breakdown because I can’t handle this anymore. I don’t regret Skyler, just the situation he was born into. I used to believe that God only gave a person so much that they could handle. I am starting to doubt this belief, because this is just to much for me. I want more luck when I am doing my job hunting, so I can get out of this mess. Maybe then I’ll find my happiness. Maybe then I’ll start to feel more normal and under control. Until then, I’ll do my best to hang on by the little thread of sanity I have left.