Archive for December, 2009
December 22nd, 2009 | 
Author: For all my readers (as limited and few they may be), please comment.
What is your Christmas Wish? If Christmas Miracles truly happened, what do you want? Feel free to be as selfish or unselfish as you want. Just spill it.
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It’s astonishing to me how much I have grown to love knitting. For only doing it for a years time, it’s become my most loved hobby. I carry a knitting project everywhere with me and I often bring it out at work and knit a few rows on my lunch. I don’t get embarrassed or think of it as “the granny hobby”. The only time that I don’t like knitting is when I’m working on a project and I decide that I want to keep it. I decide that giving it to it’s rightful owner will kill me, so while the needles are flying, I’m putting together a plan so I don’t have to give up the knitted up. Like these….
Simply known as the purple longies. But if there was a way to be in love with a knitted item, I have found it. They are simply gorgeous. Just look at the colors and the pattern that the variegated yarn forms!
This next photo shows more true to life colors. And the cuff. The best part. A garter eyelet stitch cuff. And while I’m a fugly garter stitch hater, I’m a garter eyelet stitch lover.
But, I’m going to share some joyous news. I’m almost out of the yarn. This yarn. Cascade 220 Superwash Paints. In Grape. Such a scrumptious name! Cascade Superwash Paints is a wonderful yarn. Soft, machine washable, even though I would probably just handwash them. I mean, if the longies were mine. And I wish that they were. But then that means that I would need a little baby girl to wear them…..
Anyways… so I’m down to about 40 more yards of the yarn when I need at least 80-100 yards. So I ordered some more of the yarn (since I can use it for a super cute stocking cap to sell on my Etsy). So while I’m patiently waiting for the yarn, I’m enjoying my limited time with the longies. Gazing longingly at the colors and the sweet cuff. Admiring my stitch work. It really is nicely done.. Sigh… I really hope the owner loves these longies as much as I do…
Would I be a total scrooge if I admitted that I don’t get excited about the holidays? I don’t like the added stress. I don’t like how busy people get. And I really don’t like how consumer driven the holidays are. All everyone cares about is presents. What they are getting. What they are getting other people. What happened to when the holidays meant being with your family and the ones you love? I couldn’t care less about presents. I enjoy seeing Skyler’s face light up while we are making sugar cookies and seeing the Christmas tree lit up.
We made cookies this weekend. He got a special tree for his room this weekend and we made a few little ornaments for it. I have photos of the cooking making, but none of the tree yet. Those I will get tomorrow.
And another reason for not liking the holidays? It gets too COLD. I’m tired of the cold weather. I’m tired of the talk of snow. Give me sun. Give me heat. Put the jackets away. Put the long sleeve shirts away. No more scarves, mittens, coats, winter hats. I want summer! Ugh… How many more months of winter are left???
The funks are becoming more frequent. They are to be blamed for my sporadic blogging. The truth is that I can’t blog. I have nothing to write about. My life is a monotonous and boring. I need a change.
I want to move. I want to be done with Tennessee. I want to be done with the cold weather. I want to move to California. Correction, for the past 10 or so years I’ve wanted to move to Cali. Since I first visited a little over 10 years ago, since visiting last year in November, I have known that it’s where I want to set my roots. And I’m frustrated because now more than ever I want to move and when I think it becomes a possibility, reality hits me harder than a sack of rocks.
Emotionally, mentally and physically, I can handle the move and I can handle living there. Just Skyler and I. Alone. On the adventure of life. Financially is a different story. And I’m frustrated because I feel that while I’m here in Tennessee, my life will continue to go nowhere. I’m plagued by bad memories, bad decisions and negativity. The cold weather brings me down. The icy chill in the air kills what little spirit I have left.
I need to get the fuck out of here. And I keep thinking that no matter what, I’m stuck here.
I want the fuck out. I want to do whatever I have to do. But how can when all the negativity in my life keeps telling me that it won’t work and I can’t do it. And what happens when I believe it?
