Psychotically Sane

Archive for March, 2010

I was strictly a wool lover. I would buy the cheapy cotton peaches n’ cream yarn to satisfy a need to buy yarn. Not sure what I have planned for knitting with it. I had a plan at the time. I was still a cotton hater though. It was stiff, scratchy, felt like cardboard. Just a tad softer than acrylic.
Then I got the news that Knit Picks was introducing new colors into their Simply Cotton line. I’m a yarn addict. I HAD to have it. So I found a pattern and decided to the try the yarn. Maybe it would be like Blue Sky Alpacas 100% organic cotton. (only the most amazing cotton yarn in the world, just too pricy) I couldn’t decide on a color, so I bought from the Simply Cotton Organic Sport yarn. The Malted Milk color. (bottom right if you click the link) Picked out a pattern to knit with it.
And I cast on. Had some doubts. The yarn was too thin. I like my worsted and bulky weight. The yarn was soft yes, but doesn’t glide across my bamboo needles like wool. So I bought some nickel-plated needles I needed. Yarn glides a little easier, but still not like wool. I kept knitting. And then I got farther into the project and I was converted. The drape is extraordinary. The lightness, the airiness of the fineness of the sport weight. Perfect. Utterly, absolutely, incredibly perfect. And I’m completely converted. I want more projects to knit with sport weight. I want to break out my fingering weight yarn and knit with it.
I want to buy more of this cotton yarn and knit a shawl.
I am now an equal opportunity yarn addict. Except for acrylic. It still sucks. hardcore.

I was a cotton yarn hater. It always felt so tough, so scratchy, so stiff. Until I bit the bullet and bought some Knit Picks Simply Cotton yarn. And after knitting with it, it’s love.

The untold story has ended. It’s a story I didn’t share with many people. I got my hopes up and things went a way I didn’t expect. But I am okay with it.

I have started doing the 30 Day Shred workout. Saturday night I was armed with my 5lb handweights, my beloved iPod (I really do have a sickening obsession with her) and very little sense of determination overpowered by a sense of dread, I put in the Shred DVD and followed the instructor. And afterwards I realized why I was filled with so much dread. I had heard the horror stories of how intense the workout was. I brushed it off. Karma got me for that one. My whole lower body was sore. Truth is, I could barely move. It hurt to walk, go up and down stairs, sit down or move any way possible. It hurt to think about how much my muscles hurt.
Today, I did day 3. I really didn’t want too, what with the continous pain, but I did the workout. And afterwards, I felt great. I could tell that my endurance is building and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I know it will tomorrow, but I am fine with that. The pain will go away and I look forward to the workout tomorrow. It’s good for me. So why stop now? I only have 27 more days to go…..

I feel like I am being stretched thin. I’m taking on more responsibilities at work because we are short handed. And I see myself getting used in the near future. Because I’m happy to help out when others need help and I hate seeing the people I work with struggle.

That’s when I realize that the only good thing about my job is the friends I have made there. The people that I love so much and look forward to working with everyday. The ones that I know I can count on to get me through my day, listen to me rant when things get frustrating and go with me to McDonalds for lunch on the day that we are ready to walk out and tell them fuck you, we are tired of putting up with your bullshit. When we then realize that no matter what, there is always going to be something that makes our days more frustrating than we want it too. But we always end up laughing about it in the end.

And I put up with the daily struggles for one person.

I’m still struggling to make sense of the untold story. It fills my heart and my thoughts daily. It’s definitely the one thing I wish was easier for me to handle.

But I will take everything one day at a time, and get through the black hole I feel like I have fallen into.