I love my sweet booger butt.

Saturday, we spent a few hours at the zoo with some wonderful friends.

And I got over my fear of fingering weight yarn and took the plunge to knit a shawl.

I’ve more than doubled my progress since taking this photo this morning.

And today we spent a few hours outside, in the blistering heat & scorching sun. Splashing and swimming in the pool.

what a wonderful weekend it was.

After Nashville was hit with 13.5 inches of rain over two days, causing many rivers, creeks & lakes to flood. May 1st & 2nd 2010 will be monumental days for Nashville and several surrounding cities. They will be remembered as days that many lives were lost, homes & businesses destroyed, families hopes and dreams gone.

Myself and my family were not affected too badly. My brother’s basement was flooded a little and my parents car got flooded. But compared to thousands who lost everything, I am grateful that we were lucky. But you can’t go a day without hearing about the flood. You can’t go a day without seeing something in the newspaper, on the news, some photo of the damage. And things aren’t going to change anytime soon. We will still be talking about this for months, years…. because that’s how long it will take to clean up the damage.

It’s truly a devastating site for several cities who never imagined we would be going through this.

But even through the horrendous storms, these little baby birds managed to survive…

These baby robins hatched Monday morning, after the mommy bird sat in the nest for two days straight, protecting her eggs. Her strong nest in a small Japanese Maple tree.

I’m glad my little birds are safe. I love peeking into the nest, and seeing them grow. Nature is a wonderful thing :)

I was strictly a wool lover. I would buy the cheapy cotton peaches n’ cream yarn to satisfy a need to buy yarn. Not sure what I have planned for knitting with it. I had a plan at the time. I was still a cotton hater though. It was stiff, scratchy, felt like cardboard. Just a tad softer than acrylic.
Then I got the news that Knit Picks was introducing new colors into their Simply Cotton line. I’m a yarn addict. I HAD to have it. So I found a pattern and decided to the try the yarn. Maybe it would be like Blue Sky Alpacas 100% organic cotton. (only the most amazing cotton yarn in the world, just too pricy) I couldn’t decide on a color, so I bought from the Simply Cotton Organic Sport yarn. The Malted Milk color. (bottom right if you click the link) Picked out a pattern to knit with it.
And I cast on. Had some doubts. The yarn was too thin. I like my worsted and bulky weight. The yarn was soft yes, but doesn’t glide across my bamboo needles like wool. So I bought some nickel-plated needles I needed. Yarn glides a little easier, but still not like wool. I kept knitting. And then I got farther into the project and I was converted. The drape is extraordinary. The lightness, the airiness of the fineness of the sport weight. Perfect. Utterly, absolutely, incredibly perfect. And I’m completely converted. I want more projects to knit with sport weight. I want to break out my fingering weight yarn and knit with it.
I want to buy more of this cotton yarn and knit a shawl.
I am now an equal opportunity yarn addict. Except for acrylic. It still sucks. hardcore.

That’s when I realize that the only good thing about my job is the friends I have made there. The people that I love so much and look forward to working with everyday. The ones that I know I can count on to get me through my day, listen to me rant when things get frustrating and go with me to McDonalds for lunch on the day that we are ready to walk out and tell them fuck you, we are tired of putting up with your bullshit. When we then realize that no matter what, there is always going to be something that makes our days more frustrating than we want it too. But we always end up laughing about it in the end.

And I put up with the daily struggles for one person.

I’m still struggling to make sense of the untold story. It fills my heart and my thoughts daily. It’s definitely the one thing I wish was easier for me to handle.

But I will take everything one day at a time, and get through the black hole I feel like I have fallen into.

And for the first time since I can remember, I had a dream about Skyler’s father. He showed up out if nowhere. He talked to me like we had just met. He barely acknowledged Skyler and of course Skyler took no notice to him. But what really hurt the most was how I remember thinking how Skyler deserved to know that the man was his father, but I just couldn’t tell him. Until he left the room. That was when I told Skyler who that man was. A simple “Skyler, did you know that us your daddy?” and then I woke up, feeling empty, let down, broken-hearted and most of confused. I know how hurt I am that he left us. I hate him for what he did, but I also imagine him coming back and then wanting to welcome him with as open arms as I can muster. And now I feel that my dream is telling me that I won’t be able to let him back into our lives. That I will go as far to protect Skyler from the man who has hurt both of us, by lying and avoiding telling him who his father his. To protect him from the man who has killed my dream of having the family I want. But is it really my ex’s fault that I am broken and holding a grudge that I feel is preventing me from happiness. Or is it mine? And will time heal these wounds or do I have to find the strength to put the past behind me. Embrace the future that scares me….